Big Family or One & Done?

Let me just clarify that Mike and I are NOT ready to start trying for Baby #2 any time soon. These are simply my thoughts at the moment.

Whenever Mike and I had talked about children and starting a family, we always agreed that we wanted a big family. We both come from families with three or more children and enjoyed that growing up. I have always wanted 4 children (some may think I'm crazy), but I love children, always have.

Well Mike and I have decided that IF we are going to have more children, we will wait until I graduate college to start trying (which means no earlier than May 2012). I am perfectly fine with that. I want to finish and by that time we will most likely be more stable in every aspect to expand our family. But it does make me think about the age difference. If we don't start trying until 2012, Christian will be almost 4 by the  time Baby #2 is born.

There are different theories about the time between Children. In an article from Parent's magazine they discuss how time plays a factor.  When you're children are 0-2 years apart you "get everything over at once" referring to diapers, sleepless nights, potty training, etc. The downfall? At such a young age, Child #1 remembers what it was like to be mommy's only, but not old enough to understand the coming of another child. Waiting 2 1/2-4 years in between is a repeat process. Once one is out of diapers a new one arrives, etc. But waiting 4 + years results in babysitter syndrome. The older child may resent the younger (and the parents) because the parent sees them as "extra hands". But it is also referred to as two "only children" because one is starting school and you are starting over with the younger.

There have also been studies that show waiting 4 1/2 years or longer between children can result in high risk pregnancies and premature birth. This makes me nervous. But I guess only time will tell.

Also, Mike had mentioned the other day that he does not want a daughter. Semi-joking, of course. He would love to have a "Daddy's Girl", etc. But he fears what comes along with that: period, boys, dating, etc. He said that he will die young if we have a girl simply because his blood pressure would sky rocket. He told me that he was seriously debating having one child because he doesn't want the worry that comes with having a girl. I know he wasn't completely serious, but it made me think. Am I okay with the one and done?